It's been...

Too damn long since I posted.
I'm off today, sorry.
Need to rant.
Ramble.

Maybe later...

Honor and Respect

She was- still is- my sister.  She's still on my mind Every.Freaking.Day. and I miss her like crazy Every.Freaking.Day.

I'm not verbal about it.  I don't feel I need to be.  I can honor her in other ways, I can respect her memory in other ways.  I do not need to dwell on the same worn memories.

On June 3, 2005, when asked by a local news reporter how I felt about Brit being at graduation with us, I responded: "I am so damn proud of her."

That feeling still stands.  She was- still is- my rock.  Our graduation class had some people in it who did not deserve to grace that stage.  She came to ONE DAY of senior year, and still passed every.single.class.  She spent majority of that year in the damned hospital.  I'm ashamed to admit, I did not visit nearly as often as I should have.  I still have guilt over that.  I know she understood, but I should have worked harder to see her.  After all, she worked her ass off to see us on Graduation Day...

I'm rambling.  Sorry.  And starting to see red.  I should probably take a step back now and gather my thoughts again.

Until next time....

6 Years

6 years ago, I graduated high school.  God it seems like just yesterday....How fast these years have flown by!

I miss her every day, even when I don't directly state anything...Brittany is always on my mind.  I'm very positive that she is watching from above and I'm even more positive that she's saved my life a million times over.  It's not fair that she's not here with us, but I know she's off doing something new and being her amazing self.

Miss ya, M&M...But I don't remember you....Remembering means that I've forgotten, and there is no way I'll forget...

I'll catch ya on the flipside, girlie

XOXO
Kaitie aka 'Squishy' aka 'Ska-weeeeeeeeeeeeesh'

For real though...I miss ya sister :)))

18.5 Months as "Mom"

For the last 18 and a half months, I've been someones mother.  Crazy, right?

Dylan is great.  He's climbing and running, playing with cars and trucks, throwing his soccer ball, and just being a BOY!  He has about 12 teeth now, eats table food exclusively (and LOTS of it!), and sleeps through the night (usually) in MY bed.  I have completely given up on him being a normal kid and sleeping in a toddler bed.  I figure it's more important that he DOES sleep rather than WHERE he sleeps, yanno?

I never saw myself as the mom of a boy...and after the last year and a half, I can't picture myself without my lil guy!  He's so smart, it scares me.  He can identify most of his body parts, including:

-Head

-Eyes

-Ears

-Nose

-Mouth

-Toes

-Belly

-Penis *YES I'm teaching him the proper term for it.*

-Butt

-Knee

-Elbow

-Finger

-Hand

.....And he can find those parts on other people as well!  He knows the difference between himself and Mommy or Granny or Daddy or whoever...

He's also finally talking more, including:

-Momma

-BeBe

-Car

-Ball

-Night-Night

-ByeBye

-Hi

-Thank you

-ChooChoo

-GeGe

-GaGa (for Granny)

-DaDa

-Alright!

-Oh

-No

-okay (usually just K)

-Uh-Oh

and of course the ever popular, "shit" (But he says it when he's in trouble, or when he's actually pooped, so yanno...)

He opens the fridge if the kitchen gate isn't locked, and grabs his grapes or milk.  He understands more than he can say, which is scary!!!  As rough and tumble as he is, Dylan is also a sweetheart...He will give kisses when you ask for them, or if you tell him, "Give George a kiss" he will kiss his Curious George doll on its little nose.

My lil man is growing up too fast.  Quick, someone freeze time!!!

Funny...

It's a sad sad day when you realize you have a better connection with people whom you've never met IRL than the ones who you've known for 5+ years IRL.

This is how I feel right now.  There are at least 5 women I can think of off the top of my head whom I have never met in real life, but that I feel very connected to and very close to.  In real life, I think there's like 3....and I've known them less than 2 years...

Funny, huh?  How that all works?  Like something changes in your life and bam, everyone walks away...everyone has their own lives suddenly...

I actually got to thinking about this yesterday...the person whom I used to call my BFF, my ex-roommate...In the area and she stops by...and I don't think I had a thing to say...Crazy and silly, I know...

I think I've become very judgmental....Scratch that, I know I have...I have no time for stupidity.  I'm done with it...Most of all...I'm done with people that I can care so much for...who can easily walk away....I'm tired of putting myself out there and being the friend everyone comes to...but then when I need something...oh no....suddenly everyone is gone...

Maybe I made those choices for some of you...Maybe I just have a low bullshit tolerance...(No I definitely have a low bullshit tolerance)...Hell I don't know...

All I know for sure, is that since March 25, 2009, my life has been getting better and better....I'm stable, finally, and doing things to keep it that way....So if I take a step back from people in real life, it's probably because they're unstable....

I'm turning into a hermit, I think...I really really am...I think its for the best...Maybe...

*End Rant Now* :-/

Slackin

I've been slacking on here awhile.  Sorrys.

It's been life, and I've been trying to figure it out.  :-)

I'll have a real update soon enough, lol

Life or something like it

Whew it's been a busy week.  Finals wore me out, but it's alright.  Passed everything except algebra (Saw that coming a mile away).  Work has been pretty good, Patrick and I haven't argued/fought over anything lately, and Dylan hasn't broken any bones.  Life = Good.

I'm just worn out.  This sinus infection is on its way out the door (today was my last day for meds) and with it now SLEETING outside (yeah, WTF!) I'm sure it's just a matter of time before the infection comes back.

My son has stolen my bed.  He will not sleep anywhere else overnight- not for longer than an hour or so.  I had some GREAT nights in his bed, he was so attached to it, and then bam....He basically said Eff You, I'm taking the big bed back!  So fine.  Whatever.  Kid can have it, I'll be getting a new bed when we move next year anyway.  So nyah.

I'm going to sleep, I think.  Here are some photos to brighten your day:

He loves bread!!!

I made Dyl a fort!

Jammin with the bottle. He's almost off of the bottle too!  Just when he's lazy!